[SERIOUS] There are too many cum trees on campus
While the title may read as a joke, the cum tree is a real thing. Its scientific name is pyrus calleryana and here's the link to the Wikipedia page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyrus_calleryana
Googling "cum tree" will also pull up this page.
This tree is called the a cum tree based on the smell that it produces while blooming. It has been described as rotting fish or semen. Unfortunately for us, there are several of these trees all over campus and they all bloom at the same time. This causes our beautiful campus to smell like someone just finished having sex with the dumpster behind a sushi restraint.
While I support having trees on campus and cum trees are admittedly very beautiful, the smell they produce outweighs this beauty. I propose removal of some of these trees to reduce the smell as much as possible. Relocation of the trees to the farthest corners of campus could also be acceptable.
Sean Moncur commented
when do they blume, I want to know when I'm smelling legitimate cum and just smelling the trees.